What It's Worth
by gnbrules
Summary: Story for Netflix's Atypical. Sometimes growing up means breaking hearts and being heartbroken. Sometimes it means figuring out who you are and what you want. Casey Gardner is growing up fast now that Izzie has come into her life. Casey/Izzie.
1. Chapter 1

**What It's Worth**

 **Summary: Sometimes growing up means breaking hearts and being heartbroken. Sometimes it means figuring out who you are and what you want. Casey Gardner is growing up fast now that Izzie has come into her life. Casey/Izzie.**

 **Chapter One:**

Casey Gardner had never _really_ let herself consider Izzie that way until The Moment. The Moment between breaths, foreheads pressed together, Izzie's lips so close and oddly inviting. The Moment when everything felt right and warm and wonderful, and she'd forgotten that the rest of the world existed. She'd forgotten about her annoying mom, the stupid party she hadn't wanted, and the loving, sweet boyfriend she'd left downstairs.

She still isn't sure if she should be mad at her mother or grateful. Another minute and things would have changed forever, irrevocably. Casey is not into girls. Casey is not a cheater. Casey is not like her mother.

And yet here she is, ignoring Evan's phone call while her other hand is entwined with Izzie's, and the feeling of wanting to kiss the girl beside her is spiraling dangerously close to the surface.

 _What is wrong with me,_ Casey thinks.

She can't look at Izzie. One look and she's certainly done for - any resolve she has will melt away into pressing lips and tangled feelings and an aftermath of guilt. She can't look and she can't speak, and more than anything else, she can't seem to let go of Izzie's hand. There is no safe way out of this.

After a silence that stretches well past normal, Izzie finally breaks, to start the conversation that needs to be started. "We, uh, we should probably talk about this, huh, Newton?"

Casey still can't look. "I…I'm not sure I know what to say."

A pause.

"I'll…I'll start, then," says Izzie carefully. "Have you, um, ever felt this way about a girl before?"

Casey swallows, her voice constricted."I've never felt this way about _anyone_ before." Honesty can be as sharp as any lie, and she thinks of how Evan would feel, if he knew. She loves him, she's attracted to him, but it's undeniably different. "But I've never liked a girl at all before, if that's what you meant." A sudden curiosity finally makes Casey look over at Izzie. " _Wait, have you?"_

Izzie grins a little guiltily, and Casey smirks back. "Spill the beans, Izz." For a moment, the tension is gone and they are just two friends, gossiping about past romances. It's easier this way.

"I noticed a lot, when girls were really pretty or cute, I guess." she shrugs. "I might even say I've had a crush or two when I was younger, but I never wanted to _do_ anything about it. It was never worth it to deal with what it would mean for me, or how people would label me, you know?" She pauses. "It's different now, though."

"Why?"

Izzie looks impossibly nervous, but still manages to hold Casey's gaze. "Well, because of you. Because you're worth it to me, Newton."

Casey breathes in deep. The air sizzles and goes electric, and That Feeling is back in full force. Izzie's eyes are soft and warm, and the connection is there, the magnetic pull. Izzie leans closer to her. _Shit, shit, shit._ Casey wants to thank her, or tell Izzie that she feels the same, or just say _the fuck with talking_ , _let's continue where we left off._ Of course, that makes her think about why they left off: the interruption of the she-devil herself.

It slams home.

Her mother, the cheater. Her father, betrayed and heartbroken. She imagines Evan punching the newly fixed wall in the exact same spot. He has been nothing but good and supportive to Casey. He doesn't deserve this.

"Izzie."

"Newton."

It takes Casey every ounce of will she possesses. "We should probably go home."

Izzie tries to smile, but it falls flat and sad. She takes her hand away and Casey feels instant regret. She wants to stay close to Izzie; she can't lose her again. She wants to laugh with her, tease her, talk about all the personal stuff that no one else seems to understand. She wants other things, too, things a lot more confusing and complicated. She wants to hold, to kiss, to touch. And be touched.

Casey puts the car into drive and tries to shoo those thoughts away. The silence is terrible, but she puts on the radio and at least they can pretend to enjoy the crappy pop music. They reach Izzie's house without incident.

"Thanks for the ride, Newton." Izzie says quietly as she starts to open the car door.

Casey can't leave it like this. She grabs Izzie's hand, even though she probably shouldn't. "Izzie I…I'm sorry."

"I know."

"No, I mean I…I have to figure things out, okay? I need time to get my shit together, but we promised, right? We won't leave each other?"

It's a plea.

Izzie does manage to smile this time, just a little. "Of course, Newton. A forehead promise is the most sacred kind. I'm pretty sure if you break it, the universe implodes."

Casey grins. "Okay, get out of here," she says, rolling her eyes. "I'll text you, alright?"

"And if you figure anything out…"

Casey grimaces a little, thinking of what 'figuring things out' might mean for her and Evan, and for her own future. "You'll be the first to know, Izz. There's…there's no one else I'd rather talk to."

"Me too. Goodnight, Newton."

"Goodnight, Izzie."

Casey drives away and watches Izzie's outline grow smaller in the rear-view mirror. Her head is buzzing and her heart is aching painfully. She sighs. She has so much shit to figure out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

It's 2 AM and Casey can't sleep, but perhaps that's just as well. The house is quiet and dark, the best time to do some research and private thinking without Sam or Mom interrupting.

Casey isn't as good as Sam, but she is a teenager and therefore knows her way around a computer. Multiple Incognito tabs are open, and all she has to do is search for answers to questions she never thought she'd be asking. There are definitions to sort through: pansexual, asexual, bisexual (she reads that one extra carefully). There are stories like: _When I First Knew,_ and _Coming Out To Mom and Dad._ Some of it is sweet and some of it is sad. There are forums filled with advice for gay teens. There are studies about the Kinsey scale and sexual fluidity. And finally, the last tab. Casey makes sure the volume is turned almost all the way down on her computer and that her headphones are plugged firmly into the jack. She glances at the bedroom door to make sure that it's closed.

She feels weird about doing this.

She hesitates, then types: lesbian videos.

 _The world is a gross place_ , Casey thinks, as countless video links pop up on her screen. She's definitely going to regret this. Still, she knew what she was getting into. The least offensive-looking is titled _First Time_. Heart pounding, she clicks the link.

It takes all of two minutes for her to realize that she doesn't like it at all. Not because it's gay, just because it's awkward and fake. People don't look like that, and they don't talk like that, and there shouldn't be someone behind a camera trying to profit off this. She closes out the tab and groans. She can't relate to those girls, and she knows if anything happened between her and Izzie, it would be nothing like that.

 _Of course not,_ says a secret voice in her head. _It would be much, much better._

Well, fuck.

Casey closes out the rest of the tabs. She clears her search history even though the Incognito mode should have prevented any of it from being saved. She goes from laptop to phone and frankly, all she really wants to do is text Izzie, which is a stupid idea. So she goes with a slightly less stupid idea instead. She texts Evan.

 _Hey. You awake?_

Twenty minutes go by before the answer is clearly no, he definitely is _not_ awake. Why would he be? It's not Evan's world that's turning upside down. Well, not yet…

Casey's resolve breaks. _Hey,_ she texts.

A minute or two goes by before her phone buzzes with Izzie's response. _**Newton, what are you doing up at this hour?**_

 _I could ask you the same thing. Unless I woke you up, in which case, I apologize profusely…;)_

 _ **No big, I was awake anyway. What's up?**_

 _Nothing really. Well, I did something kind of dumb._

 _ **Go on.**_

Casey's heart pounds a little in her chest. It's embarrassing but it's _Izzie._ The girl she can tell anything.

 _I tried to watch lesbian porn,_ she writes.

The wait after this text stretches and Casey regrets it. _Why would I text that_?! _I have a boyfriend and she's probably going to hate me for giving mixed signals and being confusing as fuck! This conversation is a disaster…_

Finally, a reply:

 _ **Newton! I am shocked. JK, see anything you liked?**_

Casey now gets why it took Izzie longer than usual to answer. Every response Casey can offer seems weighted. If she says yes, is she confirming that she's gay? If she says no, is she shutting Izzie down? Izzie chose to play it cool, so she should probably follow suit, right?

 _Not really. Not because it was girls or anything. Porn is just kind of blegh. :/ Like, nobody says, Do you like that, baby? in real life. Or at least I hope not._

A pause. Casey sips from the water glass on her bedside table as she waits.

 _ **Hmm, let me try. Do you like that, baby?**_

 _OMG, Izzie, shut up!_

 _ **Haha, I'm joking! I'm not much of a talker anyway.**_

Dear God, this girl is going to be the death of her. Casey sighs, reins in her imagination. _Well, you should get some sleep,_ she writes. _If you don't, I'm so gonna smoke you at track practice tomorrow. As usual._

 _ **You wish, haha. Goodnight Newton.**_

 _Goodnight Izzie._

Casey settles into bed and tries to sleep. The research didn't really help, but at least she was able to reassure Izzie that she's doing _something_ regarding recent events _._

She thinks of Evan and the guilt bubbles in her chest. She thinks of his eyes, his smile, their first kiss. The way he makes her laugh and supports her when things get difficult. _I really do love him,_ she reminds herself, feeling her eyelids grow heavy.

But when Casey finally does slip into sleep, it's still Izzie who fills her dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

The dreams have been happening for three weeks, ever since the party. Every few days, Izzie plays a featuring role in Casey's subconscious. Most of the time, it's innocent. They'll be together doing something that only makes sense in dream logic, like preparing for a mission to outer space or searching for an undersea treasure. Once, she'd dreamed that Izzie had learned how to fly and Casey was so jealous and distraught that she could no longer reach her.

Last night, however, had not been innocent, whimsical, or in any way metaphorical. She had dreamed of Izzie kissing her. She'd dreamed of clothes disappearing, of lips clashing, of hands searching. She wakes with her skin warm and her stomach in knots.

Casey has never been more in need of a very long run and a very cold shower.

Evan is coming over for lunch. Her heart constricts at the thought. She knows that what they've been doing isn't sustainable. Evan has been playfully hinting at Another First Time, and she's been evading it as best she can. It hasn't been easy, but the house has always been full as of late, with her family causing drama as usual. _"I don't want them interrupting,"_ Casey says, but the truth is she's only been inviting Evan over when she knows they're around.

She goes down into the kitchen just in time to see her mother grabbing her car keys. "Where are you going?" Casey demands.

Elsa is all smiles. "Oh, one of my friend's called and asked if I could cut her daughter's hair! You remember Carla and Jaimie, don't you?"

"Oh. Where's Sam?"

"Apparently Zahid needed the day off for a date or something? Sam switched shifts with him so he could go."

The realization that Evan's coming over when the house is empty sends her into panic. She unlocks her phone, only to see a text has already come through.

 _On my way over!_

Okay, no problem, it'll be fine. They'll eat lunch and then watch a movie. Not everything is about sex with them, right?

Evan arrives just as Elsa is leaving. "Oh, Mrs. Gardner, heading out?"

"Yeah, just for a bit, I've got a new haircut client!"

"Oh, nice!" Evan shoots a look at Casey, eyebrows raised in excitement. She knows what's on his mind and even in her panic, she feels a surge of lust. How messed up is that?

The door snaps shut behind Elsa, leaving a ringing silence in Casey's ears. How many times has Casey wanted her Mom to get out of the house, and she chooses now, of all times, not to be totally disruptive?

"So, empty house, huh?" says Evan, and he's grinning goofily at her. She smiles in spite of herself. "Oh, do I have big plans for us." He takes her hand and before she knows it, she's being pulled unceremoniously up to her bedroom.

"Evan…"

Next thing she knows, he's on her bed and gently guiding her down on top of him.

The worst part is that it still feels good.

She kisses him to remember what it's like to kiss him. He tugs at her shirt and she lets him yank it off her. His hands reach around to undo her bra. She cups him through his jeans. His responding groan does funny things to her insides. Gay? Yeah, not entirely, it seems.

And of course now she's thinking about Izzie again. How the hell is she supposed to put on the brakes at this point? _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ "Um, what about lunch?" It's a lame attempt this far along, but what else can she do?

He grins again. His right hand sneaks beneath the waistband of her shorts. His fingers give a short, quick caress through her panties. "I'm sure I can find _something_ to eat _."_

Casey looks at him. He looks at her. They both burst out into ridiculous laughter.

"Oh. My. God." squeals Casey.

"Alright, alright, I was just trying something!" he chuckles.

 _Do you like that, baby,_ she thinks, and she really can't stop laughing. She laughs so hard she thinks her lungs might burst; she laughs until she's crying, tears streaming helplessly down her face.

And then she's just crying.

She hates herself. She _hates_ herself for this.

Evan's hands retreat instantly. "Hey, Casey, Casey, are you okay?"

She wipes at her eyes. "Sorry," she says.

"What's wrong? Did I…did you not want to? We don't have to."

Evan who is patient. Evan who is kind. Evan who thinks this is his fault, somehow.

"It's not that. It's not you."

Casey is suddenly acutely aware of the fact that she's no longer wearing a shirt or bra. She is exposed and vulnerable. She grabs the tee from where it had fallen and shrugs it back on.

He sits up on the bed and puts his arms around her. Lovingly.

She lets herself feel it. She lets him love her, comfort her. She lets herself love him, just a little longer.

"Casey, you're scaring me a little."

She breathes him in, and after a moment, forces herself to finally extract her body from his arms.

"Evan. I-I think we need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

If there were ever any words to succinctly kill a mood they would be: we need to talk. Those words have truly never, in the history of the world, meant anything good.

Casey knows this. Evan, by the look on his face, knows this too.

"Okay," he says. "Let's talk."

Except of course, Evan has nothing to talk about. This is one-sided. This is all her doing, all her fault. She has to tell him. She should have rehearsed this, and now she's floundering. She breathes in deep and says in a rush of words: "I just want you to know I care about you and I love you and I don't want to lie to you because I've seen how shitty that is to do to someone."

Evan takes a moment to process this. He's starting to look a little ill. "Casey. I'm dying here. Please just tell me. What is going on?"

 _Don't hate me don't hate me please don't hate me._ "There's…there's something between me and – me and Izzie."

In the span of only a few seconds, a number of emotions cross Evan's face. Confusion. Denial. Realization. Then hurt. A mountain of hurt.

Evan looks at her. "But you're not... are you?"

Part of her really wishes that she could say she is gay. It might make it easier for him, to know that it wasn't a matter of love but simply an incompatibility of bodies. But she promised to be honest, and she needs to say this aloud. She'll need the practice. "Well, I didn't realize until all this, but I think…I think I might be bisexual."

"Casey." It's the anger now; she knew it would come eventually. "What do you mean by 'all this'? Did something _already happen?"_

She hasn't cheated, but she can't find it in herself to be defensive. She would have kissed Izzie in the bedroom that night if it wasn't for her mother. She had wanted to sink into Izzie and stay there forever. She still wants that. That's why Evan deserves to be let go. No matter how much she doesn't want to and no matter how much it kills her.

Her eyes are wet and overflowing again. Tell the truth. "We almost kissed a few weeks ago. And maybe again another time. We kind of discussed it, after. Not a lot but enough to know it's – it's mutual. Evan, I am so sorry."

He stands up, looks anywhere but at her. "I – I have to go."

"Evan, don't."

Their eyes meet. "Casey, if you didn't want to make a change, you wouldn't be telling me this. You've chosen already, I can tell. There's no point in me staying. Tell me I'm wrong, tell me you don't want to be with her, and maybe we can get through this."

He's not wrong. She stays silent, and the last of hope disappears from his eyes. Evan makes his way out of the bedroom and she follows him at a distance. Before he reaches the door, he turns to look at her, his eyes glossy. "If things don't work out with…don't call me, okay?"

It's all that he's asking for. A clean break. Casey wants to say that she loves him. She wants to say that he means the world to her. She wants to be the person he fell in love with. In the end, it doesn't really matter what she wants and all she can manage is, "Okay. Evan, I'm sorry."

"Me too," he says, and leaves without a goodbye.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

Something tells her not to call Izzie right away, even though it's all she wants to do. It's not Izzie's job to piece Casey back together when she's gone and broken her own heart. Evan is gone. He won't come over and hang out, he won't eat at family dinners, text her silly jokes. It would be wrong and unfair to use Izzie to fill that void.

She stays in her room most of the rest of that day. She listens to some music, considers deleting the songs that remind her of Evan, but doesn't. Her mom calls her down for dinner a little later, and she forces her way down the stairs. Lemon-herb chicken and mashed potatoes. She pushes it around her plate.

"Casey, everything okay?" her father asks. Apparently her lack of appetite isn't going unnoticed.

"No," she says shortly.

He glances at Elsa, then back at Casey. "Okay, is there a follow-up to that?"

Her mother and Sam are looking now too. She wonders if her eyes are still red from all the crying. She probably should have washed her face before coming downstairs. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Is it Evan?"

"Damn, Elsa, I just said I don't want to talk about it!" Casey gets up from the table and rushes back up to her room, slamming the door behind her.

 _Don't text Evan, he doesn't want to talk to you._

 _Don't text Izzie, you're not in a good place to talk to her._

 _Don't text Izzie._

A knock on the door about ten minutes later interrupts her internal struggle. "What?!"

"Casey, Mom said I should come check on you. I told her that was dumb because you made it very clear you didn't want to talk about whatever your problem is, but she said I had to do it anyway. So I'm checking on you."

"Great, mission accomplished."

"I think I should come in to really be thorough about it."

She groans, but after thinking about it…there'd actually be no better place to start than with Sam, right? "Yeah, actually, Sam, go ahead and come in."

He opens the door and steps inside. "Close it," she says, and he does.

Casey takes a deep breath. "Hey, I want to tell you something, okay? I'm not ready to tell anyone else, and I know you suck at keeping secrets, but it will just be for a little while. Can you do that?"

"I really haven't done well with lying, Casey. I mean, Zahid lit his pants on fire and Paige lost part of a finger."

"Uh huh, yeah," she nods, wondering what the hell has been happening at Sam's work and school since she left for Clayton. "Well, Sam, you probably won't even have to lie because it won't come up. You just have to not say anything for a little while."

"Alright, I guess that could work."

"So, here's the thing. I broke up with Evan. And I think I might be bisexual."

Sam thinks about it. "Bisexual means you're sexually attracted to both men and women."

"Yeah."

"Oh. You know, there are quite a few cases of bisexual and homosexual behaviors in the animal kingdom. In fact, did you know that in 1999 a couple of male chinstrap penguins at the Central Park Zoo hatched and raised an egg together? Someone even wrote a children's book about it. It's called, _And Tango Makes Three_. Tango was the name of the baby penguin they hatched."

"You don't say," says Casey, smiling.

Sam grins back. "Yeah. Hey, so does this mean you like boobs now too?"

Casey splutters. "Um, I don't know, I haven't really thought about it."

Sam nods. "Okay."

Sam turns to leave, but Casey calls him back. "Hey, Sam? I love you."

He looks at her. "You're being kind of weird, Casey, did you know that? But I love you too."

She smiles as he leaves her room. Well, at least she could always count on Sam.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

The weekend goes by in a blur of depression. Casey hardly wants to eat, she can hardly sleep. The only thing that helps is running, running until her legs ache as much as the rest of her does. She's been strong though, she's been good. She hasn't texted Evan and she hasn't texted Izzie. With something this big, she needs time to adjust and figure out what to say to Izzie when she sees her again.

 _I broke up with Evan for you and I 'came out' to my brother. Let's go make out now?_

Or, _I still love Evan, but I think I've burned that bridge, and could you please make me feel like less of a horrible person about it?_

Or, _I'm not sure I'm ready to be 'out' to my parents or anyone at school. I hope it's okay that I want to kiss you and maybe more, but that I don't want anyone to know._

Funny, she can't seem to imagine any of those situations going super well, except maybe the making out one. That one might go a little too well.

She sees Izzie on Monday morning, before the first bell. They smile and it's awkward, but not in the worst way. "Hey, Newton. You were a little MIA this weekend."

"Yeah," she says. "I'm sorry. I had kind of a crap-tastic weekend."

Concern flashes over Izzie's face. "Want to talk about it?"

Some of the other girls from track are coming their way. "Yeah," she says. "Not here, though, okay? Any chance you could come over tonight?"

Izzie bites her lip. Coming over for Izzie probably means struggling to find a last-minute babysitter for her siblings. "Yeah, okay, I'll make it work. 8 o'clock?"

Casey smiles. "Sounds good."

The rest of the day passes almost as normal. They eat lunch together with the rest of the girls. They have practice and lead the pack, as usual. It's good to fall into step together, to finally be back in sync.

"See you tonight," Casey says at the end of practice.

Izzie smiles. "Sure thing, Newton."

* * *

"Hey," Casey says over dinner, "Izzie's going to come over for some studying at 8, is that cool?"

Doug barely even blinks, "Yeah, of course," he says.

Elsa looks both skeptical and conflicted. "Studying what subject?" she asks.

"Bio, Mom. It's almost always Bio. It's a dumb subject and should die a painful death."

"Biology isn't dumb," says Sam heatedly. "Just because you suck at it doesn't make it dumb."

"Did I say Bio is dumb? I meant people who like it." Casey shoots back at him, and he glares at her.

"Enough," says Doug. "Casey, it's real nice your friend is coming over to help you. I think that's great, but make sure you don't get distracted. I don't want you guys talking about boys for two hours and not getting any work done."

"Not a problem, Dad," she says, secretly thinking that it has never been _less of a problem_.

Waiting for Izzie after dinner starts to drive Casey a little crazy. She heads up to her room, checks herself out in the mirror. It's just _Izzie._ Except Casey knows it's not. Without Evan, a whole new world of terrifying possibilities and concerns have opened up. Casey decides to brush her teeth. Then she paces around her room, not unlike Sam does when he's agitated. At ten til 8, she waits in the living room so that she can be the one to open the door.

A text around 8 o'clock: _**Babysitter late=me late. Sorry! Be there in 20.**_

Izzie makes it over in only fifteen, but the minutes still felt long to Casey. When Casey opens the door, her first thought is that Izzie _looks good_. Of course, that's nothing new, but really noticing _is._

"Did you eat?" asks Casey.

Izzie grins a little. "Let's say that I didn't. What do you have?"

They make their way to Casey's room loaded down with a variety of snacks. Chips and candy, a couple cans of soda, enough so that they'll never have to foray back down unless they want to. They run into Elsa in the hallway. Izzie steps inside Casey's room, but Casey and her mom both halt at the doorway. They're both thinking the same thing. _Does the door rule apply_? Casey decides to test it. She steps backward across the threshold of her room, begins to close the door, waiting for her mother to object.

Elsa, for her part, looks comically indecisive. Finally, she says quietly, "You two probably have a lot to talk about. So…just tonight, I guess."

Casey's too embarrassed to acknowledge the understanding passing between them, so she shrugs and pulls the door closed without a word. She can't be sure about her father and Sam, but she can guarantee that Elsa Gardner won't be popping in unexpectedly anytime soon.

Izzie glances at her. "What was that about?"

Casey feels the warmth rush to her cheeks. "Nothing, nothing at all."

"Oh," she says. "Are you coming?" Izzie is sitting on the bed, and she pats the space next to her. Still blushing, Casey sits beside her.

Izzie crosses her legs, starts in on the bag of Cheetos, then says, "Okay, Newton, ready to tell me about the crap-tastic weekend?"

Casey's mood drops in an instant. She wonders what Evan is doing right now. Just a few days beyond a break-up and Casey is already sharing the bed with Izzie behind a closed door. The whole point of the break-up was to do the right thing, to let go, to not feel guilty about developing feelings for someone else. No one told her the guilt would linger like a bad flu.

Casey looks away from Izzie. "Well, for starters, Evan and I broke up."

"Oh, Newton, shit. Is…how are you doing?"

She shrugs. "Not great. I have the urge to text him every five minutes. I miss him like crazy. I can't believe how much it feels like getting dumped even though I'm the one who ended things."

"You broke up with him?" asks Izzie quietly.

Casey chances a glance at Izzie, who looks worried and relieved at the same time. "It just wasn't right anymore."

"How did he take it?"

"I don't know. I mean, I know I hurt him. I cried, he teared up. Probably didn't help that we'd been in the middle of…stuff…when I had a major meltdown. I wish I could have explained better. But at least I told the truth, right? I'm not like _her_?" she asks, and to her dismay, her eyes are filling with tears.

"No, Newton. You did what you had to do. It's just life, you know? Things change, people change."

Izzie touches her hand in quiet support, and they stay like that until Casey calms down enough to stop crying. "Aw, girl," says Izzie, "we really should have brought the ice cream up after all."

"It would have melted," Casey says with a teary laugh.

"Not before we could eat it," Izzie reassures her. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't know. Let's talk about something else. Anything else, please?"

"Okay, okay, we can do that," she says. Izzie is suddenly determined. She moves some of the snacks out of the way. "Let's play a game then. Lay back!"

"What kind of game is this?"

"Just do it! And I will too, and we can't look at each other, or the game will be too easy!"

"Next thing I know, you're going to blindfold me."

"Don't tempt me," she smirks, also leaning back against some of Casey's pillows. "Okay, Two Truths and a Lie!"

Casey smiles. "Oh, this should be good."

"I'll go first," says Izzie. "Alright, um, okay. So, in sixth grade, I won the county spelling bee. And…one time, I threw up on Nate's favorite shoes and he had to throw them out. And for the last one, um, I'm allergic to shellfish."

Casey laughs. "Izzie, I have proofread your English essays. Never in your life have you won a spelling bee."

"Damnit."

"And not that I don't _love_ it, but how did you throw up on Nate's shoes? Drinking…?"

"No…I ate shellfish."

Casey roars with laughter.

"Your turn!"

"Okay, give me a sec." Casey thinks for a moment. "Alright, got it. So…I believed in Santa until I was like, thirteen and Mom had to break the news to me. And one time, I had a sex dream about my brother's friend Zahid. And, I like to eat cheese sticks dipped into apple juice."

"You did _not_ have a sex dream about Zahid."

"Final answer?"

"Newton!"

"I knew Santa was fake when I was six. Dad really sucked at his Santa voice when I caught him putting the presents under the tree."

"But Zahid?!"

"It was two years ago and I was PMSing, there were definitely hormones involved!"

Izzie laughs and turns on her side to face Casey. Casey mirrors her. "You have very strange tastes, Newton."

"I know. I like you, don't I?"

Izzie bites her lip, and Casey feels a swooping sensation in her stomach. Izzie reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind Casey's ear. "I like you, too."

"Izz?" Casey whispers.

"Yeah."

"It's a little soon for me. I don't think it's a good idea. Yet."

"Okay. I understand. You're still hung up on Zahid, right?"

Casey groans. "I hate you."

"As if you could, Newton."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Since I finished watching the third season (pretty great by the way), I felt maybe I should mention that almost all of this was written prior to season three, which is why you'll see some divergences and parallels in the storylines. Not that it matters much, just thought I'd throw that out there to avoid confusion. Anyway, enjoy this very short chapter!**

 **Chapter Seven:**

It's about a week since Two Truths and a Lie when she finally decides to loop in her Dad. Elsa and Sam have known for awhile now already. They're out for a morning jog together, when she starts with, "Hey, Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"You know how Evan and I broke up and I haven't really told you why?"

"Yeah, and I hate that. I've been assuming the worst. Your mom had to stop me from going to knock his head in."

"Well, that kinda would have added injury to insult considering I broke up with _him_."

"Well, I'm sure you had your reasons, Case. I liked Evan more than I thought I would, but I'm always on _your_ side. _"_

"Thanks for that."

"So are you gonna tell me finally or what?"

"Yeah," she says. "I…I started liking someone else. It got really confusing, and I had to break up with him so I wouldn't hurt him even more."

"Oh. Well, you're young, Kid. It happens. So who is this new guy?"

Casey wipes some sweat off her brow, pauses to face him. He stops too. "That's the other thing about it," she says. "It's actually not a guy. It's Izzie."

In between deep breaths, he manages, "Izzie, girl Izzie?"

"Girl Izzie," Casey confirms, almost defiantly.

"Huh. Well that's new," he says, shrugging. "Although I guess I should have known. Last time we had her over for dinner you kept staring at each other, didn't you? Like you were in your own little bubble. Your mom knows, doesn't she? She kept shooting me glances trying to clue me in, I guess."

"Yeah. She may have interrupted one or two pivotal moments…"

"Well, this might take a little getting used to, but you know I'm good with it, right? You weren't afraid to tell me, were you? I always said it didn't ma—"

"Yeah, Dad, I know. It doesn't matter to you, or Sam, and Mom's practically all for it. I wasn't afraid to tell you. I just needed some time for me, you know?"

"I get it. So, are you dating her then? Izzie?"

"We're…seeing where things go."

He looks at her. "Just don't be afraid, okay? Don't ever be afraid to be you, Case."

She grins. "Did you get that from an afterschool special?"

"Nah, one of your Mom's self-help books."

"Sounds about right."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: The final chapter, and also be advised this one might have a hard T or slightly more rating. Thank you all for reading and for the reviews!**

 **Chapter Eight:**

As it turns out, going slow with Izzie is like trying to stop a speeding train. It's not Izzie though; she's totally patient and hasn't made any move more significant than just wanting to hang out regularly. It's always Casey that has to stop herself from kissing Izzie senseless.

And then one day, about a month after the break-up, she is at Don's to pick up her family's pizza, and there he is. Evan is just leaving as she reaches the cashier, and she feels her stomach squirm with guilt. "Oh, hey."

"Oh, hey, Casey. How are you?"

Tongue-tied in knots, she can barely string two words together. "Fine. Yeah."

"Good," he says. "It's good to see you. I've missed you."

She doesn't know what to say; everything feels like a betrayal to someone. He must read the expression on her face because he amends, "Not like that. Well, I do, but it's getting easier. Does that sound bad? I'm sorry."

"I don't –"

"Man, I'm really messing this up. I'm just trying to say, it's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too," she says with a smile which, to her relief, Evan returns.

"Say hi to Sam for me, yeah?"

"Sure. And say hi to Beth?"

"Of course."

"Uh, Miss, did you still want your pizza?" The young cashier seems to have held off for as long as he could stand, but patience is not his strong suit, apparently.

"Yeah, I've got to go, anyway." says Evan. "Bye Casey."

"Bye," she says, then turns to the cashier to pay and take the pizza.

When Izzie comes over that night, as they had already planned, Casey feels different in a way that she can't really explain. Lighter, maybe. Just, _better._

They have pizza with the family. Izzie gets along well with her parents, and great with Sam. Casey feels a certain thrill of sitting next to her. Sometimes their hands brush on the way to grab another slice. She can't help but glancing at Izzie every so often, just to see her. Izzie looks as good as ever, sparkles in her eyes and a pale shimmer on her lips.

Casey wants her. She definitely wants her.

Despite Elsa's open door rule, Casey has noticed that she has certainly been able to break it with Izzie more than she ever could with Evan. Maybe it's that her mother is trying to show how open-minded she can be, or maybe it's just for the simple fact that no matter what they do, there's a no chance of anyone getting pregnant. Either way, it takes only a few seconds after the door shuts behind them that Casey grabs Izzie's hand and pulls her to the edge of the bed.

"Newton, what are you—"

A lightning bolt of courage and desire strikes in Casey's heart, and then she's kissing Izzie, fully and deeply. Izzie's surprise lasts only a second, and then she's kissing Casey back, kissing like it's all that matters in the world. And it kind of is.

They sink down to lay side by side onto the bed, facing each other. Izzie is grinning in between their little pecking kisses and it makes Casey just as giddy. She loves it when Izzie smiles, and she considers the idea that she may already be in love with her.

"Newton, whatever has gotten into you, I'm liking it," says Izzie quietly.

Casey takes one of Izzie's hands, moves her thumb along its edge. "I saw Evan today."

A shadow passes across Izzie's face. "Oh."

"No, that's not what – it's not like that," Casey says, squeezing Izzie's hand. "It's just…seeing him felt okay, you know? I felt guilty for a second, and it was a little awkward, but he seemed good. And I was _okay_ too. I still care about him, but it's different. That's not what I need or want anymore."

"You've moved on."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Izzie's smile is soft and encouraging. "Mmm, and what do you want _now_ , Newton?"

Casey brushes Izzie's hair back behind her ear, presses her forehead against Izzie's. "This. More of this." She kisses her again, and Izzie reciprocates with such enthusiasm that Casey thinks they might spontaneously combust.

Izzie's breathing is getting heavier, and a little groan escapes from her throat, and Casey is so impossibly into this, is so ready to see what other sounds she can get Izzie to make.

There are a lot of great reasons to slow this down, but Casey can't seem to care about any of them right now. The only thing that matters is –

"Hey, Izz, are you sure you want th-?"

"Yeah, Newton. I really, _really_ want this."

It's all the permission that Casey needs. She feels so nervous; she's still not very experienced with this sex thing, but she pushes Izzie back against the bed and climbs on top of her. Izzie goes to remove her top and Casey assists her. Izzie returns the favor and they kiss some more, skin warm against each other.

There's a lot of nervous giggles and clumsy movements, subtle encouragements and a feeling of absolute trust.

Later, Casey won't remember how the rest of their clothes slipped off, but she will certainly remember the way Izzie looked while Casey touched her, all desire and love. She'd remember the way Izzie let go, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted, and how it felt to be the _one_ to see and cause such a beautiful sight. And she'd definitely remember the way it felt under Izzie's own exploring hand, a slow build until Casey had to grind her teeth together to keep from making too much noise.

After, Izzie curls against her, and leans up to whisper. Casey assumes it might be something romantic, but all Izzie says is, "Well, that was super gay."

They both laugh. "Way to ruin it, Izz." But honestly, it's a relief. The sex was amazing but that isn't all there is. They are still friends, best friends, and they're still _them._ Casey and Izzie. _Newton_ and Izzie.

"You know, we should probably put our clothes back on. It's really a miracle Elsa the Interrupter didn't already screw this up."

"I suppose. Do this again sometime though?" Izzie grins.

"Nah, I think I'm good," Casey teases.

Izzie positions herself over Casey, slides a hand along her inner thigh. Casey shivers. "Sure you are," Izzie says, and gives her a slow, long kiss.

Casey sighs, and no matter how much she wouldn't mind another round, there's no use in pushing their luck. "Clothes, Izzie."

"Fine," Izzie pouts.

When they finally decide to leave Casey's bedroom a little later, (bed-head forcibly tamed and an over-compensating look of innocence on each of their faces), they are holding hands. They pass Sam on the way downstairs. He notices their entwined hands with mild interest.

"Is Izzie finally your girlfriend?"

The two girls look at each other and grin nervously. "Uh yeah," says Casey. "She's my girlfriend."

He nods. "Cool."

It would be impossible to say whether Izzie or Casey's smile is bigger. "Yeah, Sam. I think so too."


End file.
